Episode 10

Was that a successful vote?

How do you proceed from here? Stick with the majority from tonight if your personal interests align with theirs, or is that not the case?

What's next on the agenda?

The vote went perfect tonight. Jolanda expected votes, but I'm pretty sure she was blindsided. Ibe's reaction was great, too.

Gregg doesn't seem to really care because he probably thinks he can work his way back in with his half-ass "side deals." He's even tried one with me.

Right now, I feel like I have 3 options for the next target.

The first and most obvious option is to boot either Gregg or Ibe. Probably Ibe, but who knows what the group will decide.

The other option is to vote for Bobby Jon. Apparently, he tried to get Chad to vote for Lisa last minute, and told Chad that he would be safe if he did it. Obviously Chad knew he was safe because Bobby Jon doesn't know I'm filling Chad in as I go along. So if I can convince Tom and Kim that Bobby Jon is a threat and is now playing for himself, he could go home.

The other option, which will probably be saved for later, would be to vote Tom out next. But that would require that all 4 of the Guatuso members vote for Tom, and that Tom/Kim/Bobby Jon all vote for someone, and that Ibe/Gregg vote for someone different: a 4/3/2 split. It's a big move, but almost too risky. It would need Gregg and Ibe on board, and I'm not sure that I trust them.

Again, tonight's challenge confirmed that Tom is a huge threat to win. I don't think anyone will let him into the F3 at this point if they can help it.

My other worry is that I'm being perceived as a threat now. Everyone could easily target me now. I've come across as a challenge threat now, and being deemed all-star worthy was nice, but it's dangerous territory to be labeled in.

If I survive the next vote, I really need immunity at one of the next 2 tribals. I'll miss Sunday's tribal because I'm traveling, so I'd prefer to win immunity on Thursday's challenge, but if I don't, I can just bluff and say, "Hey everyone! I have the idol, and since I'm going to miss the next tribal, I'm definitely playing the idol in advance."

I probably wouldn't actually play it, and I would hope that the bluff would be enough. I just want to survive until next week. If I can make it to the final 7 with Ami, Chad, and Lisa, I think I'll have a shot. I just need to keep someone on Chorotega on my side as well, for as long as I can. I'm definitely playing a very dangerous game because I'm basically playing both sides.

Talk me through this "post the idol in public" plan and what you are hoping to achieve if you do it.

Assuming I'm not booted tonight or on Thursday night, I want to make sure they don't decide to vote me out while I'm gone. (that would be an awful way to go out.)

My preferred outcome would be to win immunity on Thursday and not have to worry about it. But assuming I don't win immunity, my plan would be to post my idol in the public forum and say "Hey everyone, I'm not going to be here for Sunday's vote, and since I would hate to get voted out without even being here, I'm going to be playing my idol to keep myself safe." I would post the idol too, and since everyone would see it, I would really hope they wouldn't vote me out.

But I honestly wouldn't play the idol. Just the threat of me playing it would hopefully deter people from voting for me. After Sunday's vote, there will be 6 people left, which means I would only have two more tribals to play the damn thing. So I would definitely play it at the next tribal to make my bluff not seem weak. Or I could hope to win immunity at one of the challenges and not have to worry.

Basically, I think that my idol can keep me safe for 2 votes, and if I can win an immunity challenge Thursday night or after, that's 3 votes that I'm safe for. If I can get to the final 4 or 5, I think I can really win this thing.

I feel nervous about tonight's vote. I could easily be blindsided tonight but playing my idol would be a waste if the vote isn't for me. Everyone just seems too quiet and so easily set on voting Gregg. It's a little suspicious.

If this is my last confessional, I'm really fucking stupid for not playing that idol.

If it isn't, then I'm just getting way too paranoid.